Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Don't Say F@rt, and Other Things to Teach Your Son

Okay, so I think the word "f@rt" is funny. In fact, I grew up in a family where we used the word often, and it was followed by much laughter and merriment and smelliness. However, my son takes the potty talk to a whole new level (as seven year-old boys are wont to do). He doesn't just say the word. He says it repeatedly with exclamation! points! while wiggling his bottom which is aimed at his sister's face.

So, naturally, I try to curb the potty talk. Don't Say Po0p. Go To Your Room. Look at What You Are Teaching Your Sister! Then, why, the other day, did I check out Captain Underpants and Professor Po0pypants? Well, because I thought it was funny. I quickly found, as I was reading it to him, that I had to edit a lot of the potty talk because we'd never get through it and (oops!) what about all the times I tell him to Cease With the Toilet Words!

Because I suppose, deep down, I'm just as immature as a seven year-old boy.

But come on...Professor Po0pypants?! That's FUNNY. Yesterday I went to the store and bought pork but* for tacos. I couldn't help myself--when I picked my son up from school I told him we were going to have Pig But Tacos. I expected much laughter (which would bring me joy for a minute until it quickly got out of hand and I had to tell him if he said Pig But one more time....!)But instead he said..."GROSS! I'm not eating Pig But! That's disgusting!" I didn't hear the end of it for a long time, and finally told him he could just have Beans (which aren't nearly as funny).

So, in the end, even my son has limits. Which is good to know...says my thirty-three year-old self (while my inner child just snickers and says pig but tacos, heh).

*(I know how to spell the word, but didn't exactly want it searchable in my blog.)(Which is why I edited other scatological terms as well.)(End parentheses.) (And paranoia.)

Update: Well, I just found out that pork but is, in fact, not the pig's bottom. It's the shoulder. And I call myself a homemaker. My tacos are MUCH less amusing now.


  1. From your posts, our oldest sons sound like long lost brothers. Maybe they need to be college roommates someday...or maybe that would be a little dangerous...

  2. FUN- and fUNNY Jess!!! ;) Good to read some good 'ol honest funny stuff! And as soon as you said " beans... are not as fun... I thought of the 'Musical fruit- the more you eat them.... " etc. Have you seen Dispicable Me? Those minions ?sp? say "bottom" eheh eheh.. it's really cute and makes you laugh, just because they are so cute. Having small kids and laughing at their cute things- really can get us in trouble if they say it at the wrong moment. Let me hear about that!! OH MY! Just ask their primary teachers! LOL ;) Kids are so dang honest! ;) Thanks for sharing!

  3. I teach preschool. It's not just your son.

    And I think Captain Underpants is funny stuff, too. :o)

  4. Your son will be reassured that he can eat his tacos again--I imagine he wouldn't be nearly so horrified at eating pig shoulder. :) Love that you still have that sense of humor, and glad it isn't just me!

  5. Lol, thanks for the giggle. My son has a bit of a potty mouth too-- it's part of being a kid and finding things like that funny. Because they are! :)