Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Me in a Big Plastic Bin

You know those big plastic bins you store holiday decorations and baby clothes in? Well, I have three dedicated to journals and pictures and letters and odds and ends from basically my whole life before I married. I'd say two of them are pretty much teenage Jessie. I made a goal when I moved that I'd get rid of some stuff so I'd have more room in our storage closet. So I started going through Bins of Teenage Jessie, and mostly I just got lost in who I once was. (I think I threw away a rock. That is me getting rid of some stuff.)

As a teenager, I think I'm not alone in saying that I was insecure and didn't love myself like I love myself now. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is, but I was always examining myself and wishing I was something more. I think I was still happy, but I struggled with self-esteem. Looking back at myself then...reading my letters, my journals, random notes from friends, seeing pictures...I have a better idea of who I was. And I realize I love Teenage Me. I was pretty cool. I had my faults (like this one for instance) but I wish I could have seen myself as I really was.

So to teenagers out there, I ask you to fast forward to 31 year-old you (you can be married and pregnant with your third child, too, unless you are a boy because then you can't be pregnant) and listen to what that person has to say.

(By the way, my mission was pretty much unsuccessful. And all three Bins of the Past went into the closet under the stairs. Next to that magic boy who wears glasses.) (Maybe that joke wasn't funny.)