It was hard. I've had friends and family who miscarried, and I was sorry for them. But when it happened to me, a new empathy developed. I had no idea. Nothing prepared me for the raw sorrow, the loss, and the pain -physical and emotional- that came with that experience. I suppose I figured a first trimester miscarriage would be mostly just...disappointing...because the attachment (at least for me) to the baby isn't nearly what it is in the second and third trimesters.
I was wrong. I felt empty. I felt like I lost somebody. I still feel empty, even though I've had awhile to recover. Even though I'm ready to try again. But with sorrow, comes joy, and I felt my heart turning to the two beautiful babies I do have. And to my husband. The sadness, the tears, are now bittersweet because I'm so grateful to the Lord for the family I've been blessed with. And I have faith that my family will grow.