Thursday, February 18, 2010

Get Your Lawyerin' Hands Off My Query!

I just wanted to show him my query letter, especially after I won a certain Query Contest. I explained to him it is a cover letter for my book meant to persuade agents to read my book.

He went to town on it, taking all the pretty out of it until it threatened to be naked and ugly. But I stopped him, and he said, "Sorry, I'm looking at this like I'd look at a brief."

A brief?

brief: a written legal document that is presented to a court arguing why the party to the case should prevail.

My Book vs. All The Other Books

Facts: Unpublished author seeks representation by devoted literary agent.

Issue: Will My Book engage and interest a wide audience?

Decision : YES

Reasons : Said unpublished author provides My Book is good.

Other Opinions: Husband, Sister, and Friend all concur.

Writing a query never was so easy.


  1. I love it! This is just proof that lawyering can't hold a candle to authoring (okay, so maybe I'm a little biased).

  2. =) Nice. But I've known a lawyer to be that light on words. Their briefs are anything but.

  3. LOL Yes, legalese needs to stay out of novel writing. But the term brief is a good name for a query because it should be to the point. And I like your "argument to the courts" I definitely think your book would win that case. Congrats on winning the query contest. :)

  4. Okay, this cracked me up! I LOVE it!


  5. Kasie-You know, I thought my real query may be too brief at 164 words, but the agent who critiqued it didn't seem to think so. So "brief" must be good.

    Jessica-Maybe unsolicited advice :) I was just trying to show him what a query letter was. I did have him look over part of my book, however, and he treated it more like a book than a legal document.

    Jenni-You laughed? It wasn't supposed to be funny. I'm really thinking about sending it out.

  6. Hahahahaha!!

    Laughing my butt off.


    I have no butt left.


  7. How much does he charge for query consultations? lol.

  8. ROFL! Oh, I think I may be sick. I just finished a huge meal and now I am nearly wetting myself laughing! Hubby thinks I've finally lost it. :-)

  9. Karen-Ha! I'll have to ask him. However, I'm sure he bills by the hour.

    Shannon-Good. I deem a post successful only if it causes illness and incontinence. I must have done something right.