This is another post on teenage girls and boys. So if you are looking for an informative and intelligent post about writing, you can just go.
When I was fourteen, I started OBSESSIVELY keeping a journal. I mean, 2 to 3 notebook pages everyday. That is every day for about the next ten years. (And then I got married, and suddenly lost my urge to obsessively journal. I have decided it is because my journaling was an outlet for my desire for everlasting love. So when I found it, no need for an outlet anymore.)
It is funny to look back and read my fourteen year-old self. Mostly laugh at my fourteen year-old self. Like when I didn't understand why the boys didn't like me. I just DIDN'T GET IT. I was cute. I was fun. Why didn't they like me? Well, please enjoy the following excerpts and let me know if it really takes a detective to figure out what I did wrong.
Dec 3, 1994...I asked [Crush #1] to dance. He said he didn't want to, and I hit him.
Dec 28, 1994...I called and he was short with me. He said he was watching a movie. I was short with him back. I said, 'Well, [Crush #1], you are as boring as %$** so I'll let you go.'
Disclaimer-I don't swear, and I sure as heck didn't swear when I was fourteen. Unless I was incensed at Crush. Then I may have swore.
March 5, 1995...The whole night (youth dance) with [Crush #2] consisted of an argument on [Un-named Issue].
May 22, 1995...I wrote [Crush #3] last night. It was four pages long and kind of a dumb letter but he'll get over it if he likes me enough.
Okay, so apparently no one ever gave me lessons, on coy, shy, subtle flirting. I kind of figured it out as the years wore on, and now I can have a good laugh. (Laughter and maybe a few tears for the fourteen year-old girl immortally caught in these pages who wonders day after day why she can't get a boyfriend, the most desired thing in the world.)
And I would like to close with this final excerpt, which feeling conveyed is the very opposite of the feeling teenage girls have in the wilderness as discussed in previous post.
Jan 1, 1995...I don't want to wait around for a boyfriend until I am 16 and gray.
Older Jessie to Younger Jessie: There is so much more to life than boys.
Younger Jessie: Yeah, right. I'm going to go stalk Crush #4.