Sometimes I look at a bit of what I've written and think, "That is great. I'm the best. Publishable me." But then I remember American Idol, which although I semi-followed last season (as much as you can with a baby) I have sworn off this year in the interest of spending the time writing instead. And I think that maybe I am one of those people that think they are soooooooo good. They get up in front of the judges and tell them that they know they are the next American Idol. And then they sing. And you as the audience blush for them, feel sorry for them, and (oh yeah) laugh at them. Because are they really that delusional? Don't they realize they are awful? And why do they act so surprised when Simon rips them apart? SO, am I that person? Do I think my writing is Idol-standard, but when it comes down to it "Simon" the agent will know right away that I'm not?
Disclaimer: Note that the first word of this blog is "sometimes," and that I write a lot of horrible before something spills off my fingertips that I think is brilliant. More practice, right? Writing is so hard sometimes, but it's like I've immersed myself in this new relationship and I can't get out of it. In fact, I have had a struggle recently, having to remind myself that I'm not a writer who is a mom. I'm a mom that writes. I love my son. He's my whole world, and in the end, I choose him.